Is love enough?

There has been a lot of times in my life where I thought love was enough. That if you have someone you love and who loves you back, that's enough; everything else just falls in line with it. In a manner, that is true too, because when you love someone, you do work to maintain it. But for the longest time, I thought efforts were a given, I did not even know how do you actually put in efforts, especially in a romantic relationship. Still don't. It is only after I dated that I realized, more like it struck me that relationships require constant and consistent efforts, they require you to be vulnerable, to be communicative, to work on yourself as a part of making the relationship work.

Love - is different for each of us. The very definition of 'falling in love', will vary from person to person. Maybe it is the same for some, but from what I have seen, it isn't. What comes along with love is the need and want to communicate, vulnerability, the fear of losing your significant other, the want to take care of them and let them know they're valued; and yes, when you're truly in love with someone, it does come along, you would want to voluntarily work towards the relationship and yourself and give them your whole heart. Sounds scary, doesn't it? To be vulnerable, let them see all of you, each part, each feeling, each fear, to let them in. Gives me the shivers, I'll say. 

It's not easy for me to let people in, I could never do it. There were parts of me, thoughts I've had that I couldn't accept, what I wanted, I never accepted it. I used to think I didn't deserve things, or I'd think about the consequences before doing something. I could never just 'go for it.'  I still can't quite comprehend how I was dating, I wasn't easy to date. I'd live in fear all the time. One of them was not having them say it back to me. And it happened. 

The first time I've ever told someone I loved them, they didn't say it back. God, it still hurts a little. Not once, never did this person ever say it to me. It felt like I didn't fall in love, I just fell. Kept falling till the relationship ended. The vulnerability, the courage it requires, to not only watch them not say it back or not fall in love with you, but to stay despite. I understand it looks like I lost my self respect and for a moment there, I did. When it felt like it was too much, I ended it. There's a limit, isn't there?

You see, the thing is, this relationship had one sided love, but no communication, no talking, not even the bare minimum from the other side. I thought maybe my love would be enough, but was nowhere near. A good relationship has love, yes, but it also has support, it has the bare minimum, it is going that one step further for them, to fulfil their needs and them, yours. It is to understand what they are trying to say in the silence. It's the small moments with the bigger ones. It is to be there for each other through good times and bad, especially the bad. 

What I mean is, love is wonderful, mesmerizing, heartbreaking and difficult but just that, it's not enough. To continue staying in love, to consistently grow with your partner, there's more to love than love.